I'm a shithead.

Yeah, I don't post so often anymore. I'm considering outsourcing my blog production. I'm going to get a kid in a Third World country to write the bulk of my posts. I'll write SOME of each blog post from now on.

First, I'll tell you I quit my job. I put in my two week's notice. My manager cried because she's sad to see me go. Many of my coworkers were aware of my sentiments, so it wasn't too much of a shock to most of them. Some of them it was.

My brother just sold his lawnmower and weed trimmer on eBay. USED. Not new. And in the pictures, they didn't even look that nice. He told me he listed them, and I howled with laughter. I told him he was too fucking lazy to push them out to the garbage can, so he took pictures and put them on eBay. On each post, he put, "For local pick-up ONLY." So what I did, I went on and started bidding on the mower and the weed trimmer. I wanted to bid like five bucks, win the auction, and then NOT pick them up. THEN, he'd have to repost the items. On top of that, I wouldn't pay him. Because I'm a dick. My mother would tell me to, and maybe I would end up paying him, but it'd be worth it. I mean, Maternal Payment Enforcement. That'd be funny. That, of course, was my plan when the bidding was still below ten bucks. I thought I'd win with my $6 bid on each. The mower ended up selling for $60. The fucking USED weed trimmer? $97. He sold these used lawn items--obviously not new, and the mower in need of repair (plain to see in the pictures) for a combined $157. What is wrong with this world?

All right, as promised I'll now turn it over to Ping. He lives in the small country of Xiejgihlkdkjgeristan. Their main industry is seeking out foreign aid from other wealtheir Third World countries. Their biggest export is hunger. He just learned English a few days ago, so it's a bit rough.

PING'S PIECE
I Ping am boy small. 12 years old. Dad caught riding bull king Onion Man. Now sell sex self to man until blog write today. This is happy fun! When began write food chained to waste excrement not fun. America people evil demon people Ray Romano. When girl pregnant I sell to market large pig abortion trade. This is happy fun! In factory people whipping cream. Naughty! Not happy fun. Coldness showers until wake up. In my country the fondness of horse pie yell sleeping orange. You feel too? American you create evil of world? We trade kidney and lung and three fingers foot right for clean water gallon to drink of. This is happy fun! We run to water swim. Swim! I love!