Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sweet Jesus on a Crutch

It's been so long, and you and I had something. We had something called a relationship. You and me. We and us. You and them. They and me. Us.

It's been so long because I was so ashamed. The sex change operation went horribly wrong; I now have a second penis. I'm unable to go into the men's room AND the women's room, because I'm now neither. If I have to go, I just have to hold it.

You may wonder why I abandoned you. Was it Myspace--that WHORE of a web site? Even after Rupert Murdoch bought it over, I kept using it. What's wrong with me?

Do you forgive me? Will you take me back?

Do you want to hear a quick story?

Once upon a time there was this guy named Rodney. Rodney loved the bitches. He went to this big party and there was a hole in the wall. He thought it was a glory hole, but it turned out to be an oversized electric pencil sharpener.

YOUR HOMEWORK: Tell me the moral of the story in 3 words or less.

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