Craigslist Experiment I: W4M

This is the Women Seeking Men version of the ad I posted (see the M4W version below). See the M4W post to see the rules I made and will follow regarding responses.

There were a lot of responses: 88, to be exact. I had to take the ad down after a few hours because dudes kept emailing.

Attached to this ad was a picture of a woman's feet in platform sandals. Originally, there was another picture attached that I thought were women's feet but were men's feet. After that, I changed it to one that was obviously a woman's set of feet. Some of the earlier responses were pointing out the sheer size of the feet, and this is why.

The ad is very similar to the M4W:

Guilty of Love! - (27)

And guilty of manslaughter. I want to say up front that a jury found me guilty of involuntary manslaughter. I was driving on an icy road in a couple of years ago; my car slid off the road and down an embankment. At the bottom of the hill was a retirement home. My car hit a gurney being loaded onto an ambulance on its way to the hospital. The person on the gurney was already experiencing a major stroke and was at death's door, but since my car hit them I was at fault. Such is my luck. I feel I'm truly a victim of circumstances.

I really am a wonderful person, and am not afraid to say so. After my public service and jailtime, I feel I'm an even better person and I'm ready to get on with my life.

YOU: You must like all things French. I'm a total Francophile. I totally love any movie with Gérard Depardieu. Tell me you love Green Card and we might have ourselves a match made in heaven! You should be less than 6 feet tall. No exceptions. I *heart* nerds. I *heart* nonsmoking, college graduates with no children or eating disorders (haha). You love a good movie. You're not out of place in a club OR art gallery.

You're not too picky when eating, and enjoy a good meal. You are annoyed by processed foods, but can still enjoy them (like, I hate Twinkies but they taste so good!).

You're between 18 and 39 years old, and won't look like an idiot in front of my parents.

ME: I'm in sales. I started my own marketing company that sells cutout life-size Jesus Christ promotional materials, usually for retail. For instance, if a store is having a sale, they might order a couple of cutout Jesus signs that say, "I have faith that these are the lowest prices in town!" or, "What would Jesus buy?" I work really hard and come home tired each day because I put a lot into my day: meeting with clients, creating new designs, working on production issues, going to the gym, etc. We're going through an especially busy time because we're about to come out with our Ghandi line ("These prices are low enough to fight for!"). It's actually a booming business and my schedule will probably get even busier. You might think it's crazy that I'm looking for a relationship when I'm so busy, but I feel that life is best when shared with others.

I'm not really religious, and hope you aren't either. I find it a major turn-off when people I'm dating force their faith on me.

I went to college at Eastern New Mexico University, but my roots are mainly here in Southern California. I love to travel, and can go pretty much anywhere (except the state of Wyoming (arrest warrant for something I didn't do, but that's a really long story--haha)). I enjoy cooking, going to concerts, and playing the flute (no, I didn't go to band camp so don't ask--not funny).

Send me a pic, and I'll send you one in return. If you want a response from me, write me a thoughtful and intelligent response. ;)

THE RESPONSES:
(1)
Hello, How are you?? I am 5'-9" tall with a muscular body, short brown hair, and green eyes.
I am a happy, easy going, nice, fun, honest guy, and I have a good sense of humor.
UCLA educated, work as an accountant for real estate.
Non Smoker, but I do party hard. Single - never married and no kids.
I hope that you write back to me. Frank
*(includes picture of guy in dopey baseball hat with ultra-fake smile. What a douche bag.)

(2)
hello how are you
*(includes tacky photo of serious-looking dude taking his own picture in the mirror. What a doofus.)

(3)
Suffice to say me thinks we might have a few things in common, but alas I am too tired to write the cogent response your post deserves (long day at the office). So! Hang in there! The Karma Police are on their way...

Love,
MM

(4)
Those are some bigg feet....
--thanku

(5)
are you crazy ?

(6)
let it go girl....it wasn't your fault!
*(includes picture of a guy holding a motherfucking bird on his arm. Like a hawk. What a putz. Maybe it will gouge out his fucking eyeballs and skullfuck him.)

(7)
haha oh my goodness.. i have to say- truly one of my favorite postings. ever. in all of CL. your a rare gem in a world of dirt rocks.
*(includes picture of either Dane Cook, or Dane Cook lookalike)

(8)
i love all the good things in life haha 20yo guy in oc area. im pretty laid back love music and art, cause they can be found anywhere. well thats a little bit about me. how was your night?

(9)
damm you got big feet, bigger than mine

(10)
I always wondered who'd killed my relative on that
cold and icy night. It was YOU! So because of that, I
think you owe me a drink.

Dave

(11)
Too much work, but good luck with the next guy!

(12)
I'm a lawyer. Would you like to file to have your records expunged?

(13)
Wow, that's quite a sordid little past you've had. Perhaps if we get to know each other I'll tell you about mine. Yep, victim of circumstances like you. Alas, I was able to avoid jail time.
I'm just as wonderful and not afraid to say it either!
As for Gerard Depardieu; I referenced the series of expressions that he showed at the end of the film Greencard (I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about; when he's looking at Andie McDowell) in my first novel. I don't suppose I'm in love with all things French, but I've got no problems with that and would LOVE to visit the country.
I'm 35, 5'8" and here's a photo.
If you're at all interested drop me a line and I'll tell ya anything you'd like to know.

I'm Heath
Is that a photo of you in your ad???
*(Includes pic of schmucky looking guy.)

(14)
HI,

I would love to hear more from you and to get some pics of you too please.
*(Includes pictures of guy who's obviously trying to prove to himself and others that he's straight. He's topless in one standing next to a bicycle, standing next to a black sports car flexing his muscles, and standing in front of a large house in the last one.)

(15)
wow.
it'd be crazy to fall for u.
i hope someone does.
ciao.

...though i have visited France quite a few time including next June.

- A

(16)
*(This is just email of the dude's name followed by a link that says, "Check me out!" What a fucker.)

(17)
i assume u know who is le petit prince

I am 34/m/LA. I have my Master degree in Engineering. So I am kind of
busy
at work everyday. I don¡¦t have too much time to hang out and meet
girls. So
I respond to your ads. I would like to meet a woman who i can go out
with on
the weekend for nice dinner and movies first and see where we can go
from
there. I like to play golf, tennis and go skiing and surfing.

How about you? have you been to a bar in Malibu where they have beds at
the
patio overlook the ocean? I would take you there for the first date.

Do you have any messenger?
Best regard.
.._.._ _/_/
..__/
(oo).._______
(__).. )../..
||----w |
|| ||

(18)
I saw your ad and was interested in contacting you. Just moved here
from NYC to do TV production (still have my co-op back home) I go back
and forth to work, but will be mostly here from now on. I'm 39, 6'2",
slender, Black/Canadian/Irish. Work in TV/film/music, and does a lot of
arts-activities. Let me know if you have any interest. Best wishes,
-Mark

(19)
Hi, I was browsing craigslist where I came across your ad.
Well, let's see, a little about me. My name is Jon. I am 23 years old, 5'10" tall, 195 lbs, with brown hair and blue eyes. I just graduated from ************ University with a degree in Criminal Justice Administration. I just recently moved back to the Valley while I get my career started. I am working toward becoming a pilot for the United States Coast Guard. In the mean time however, I am working for my SCUBA diving shop managing one of the stores and working on our dive boat as a divemaster/deckhand. I enjoy SCUBA diving any chance i get and should hopefully start my assistant instructor training soon. I also like surfing but I need to find a break that I like out here. I am also very passionate about my car hobby. I enjoy both building them and racing them. To further facilitate this hobby, I became a judge for a national import car show series. If you want to talk more, you can reach me at this email or at my AIM sn of *****. Hope to hear from you soon,
Jon
*(included pics of himself skydiving and smiling. He looks like your run-of-the-mill jackass. His face looks like a part of the female anatomy.)

(20)
Hi

Still awake and want to chat? I am 24/M from OC. I am not a rapist or pervert I promise. I am motivated by my career and own my own business. If you want to chat, hit me up. I have a myspace link if you do... Hope to hear from you...

(21)
Well I'm from England which is close to France! And I've been there lot's (now living in SM)

Couldn't stop laughing at your post, and don't forget the Sales campaign slogan - "Jesus saves" (and you could add the post script "but the devil scored from the rebound")

Sorry to hear about you're misdemeanor - hope you're reformed now.

Funnily enough I bought the Green Card DVD last week - how do fancy living it out for real?

Bye the way if the rest of you is as sexy as your feet I'm looking forward to a full length picture.

Cheers big Ears
*(includes two pics.)

(22)
hello there
cl dont make me send u my photo
but u can see me on my profile on my space
www.myspace.com.r{}*****
ciao
daniele

(23)
I think the best french film is My life to Live have you seen it? it means a lot to me.
i seem to fit most of your criteria. i send you a photo tell me what you think?
Robert
*(includes a picture of a chubby fuck in a tuxedo)

(24)
hi there,
I liked your CL post oddly I saw a little of myself in
that ad! And you have cute feet! I'm jaosn whats your
name?.Been doing this internet thing long?

Jason

(25)
(name), 5.11, 35, italian scientist in (city)
cute, brain and sexy blue eyes
still wondering if im more a theoretical engineer or theoretically an engineer
wanna escape from the neirds of my college asap..
italian style, born and raised in Italy, in LA since 2005
my mother is a french teacher in italy, and made me love the french cousins in some way..
i think you won't look like an idiot in front of her
wanna chat?
ciao
f
http://www.myspace.com.r{}***
*(includes pic of guy that looks like it was scanned from a Sears ad)

(26)
Hi how are you doing? I hope your week went well. I like what I read,
thought I should say hi and introduce myself.

I am 33 years old stand at 5ft10 and weigh about 160. I have tanned
skin, dark eyes with long eye lashes which women die for :) and a
killer smile.

I am open, honest, and outgoing. I like to live a active life and
also spend quite time with the one I care for. Talk to you soon.

Bye,

Avi

(27)

I believe in you when winter turn to summer,
I believe in you when white turn to black,
I believe in you even though I be outnumbered.
Oh, though the earth may shake me
Oh, though my friends forsake me
Oh, even that couldn't make me go back.

Don't let me change my heart,
Keep me set apart
From all the plans they do pursue.
And I, I don't mind the pain
Don't mind the driving rain
I know I will sustain
'Cause I believe in you.

(28)
That was one of the most creative ( whether
intentionally or not ) and compelling posts on CL in a
long time...

CL used to be a spot where folks of all types
converged and formed little communities and I'm sure
that still happens, albeit in different sections (
i.e. furniture, electronics, whatever... )

The few times I've checked this out, it seemed to be
full of spam and fake ads and like anything
interesting, it's time was past.

But your posting was great and I don't mean to insult.
If it's actually true and you are whom you say, then
you've had an interesting 27 years and are probably a
very interesting ( if not slightly dangerous ) person.
But one I'd be curious to know.
If it's not true, then you're just a good writer and I
gotta give it up to ya. Those are some ass kicking
details. I'm especially fond of the occupation and
company ... rockin.

So... the question is, are you real?

If so, there's a very open, adventurous, creative,
athletic, east coast, spontaneous, grounded person
with a few stories to tell as well. Not a sugar daddy
or a wifebeater model, but I've played one on T.V.
I've been to France and understand your love...I'm
busy too as I'm a biz owner and very ambitious....
WAIT, I'm still not sure if you're real... this could
end up on some website...

Don't keep me in suspense...and have a great night...

"We have art so that we may not die of reality," said Friedrich
Nietzsche
*(includes pic of guy scowling)

(29)
Wow, that's an interesting way to start a post. That's bad luck. I cant believe they convicted you, it doesn't sound like it was even your fault. I don't know where to go from here.

Ok, I am totally into Gérard Depardieu. I work in post audio and had the opportunity to develop my liking for his movies. We got them all to transfer to DVD with surround sound. He's done stuff that I would consider porn. He's great.

Well, if you want to continue this conversation, I think we have a lot in common. Or if you want to see a picture, or want to know anything else, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Peter

(30)
Innocent-27
write me back guilty
PS: Smart pic

(31)
Good evening! How are you doing? Happy 2007! I enjoyed reading your
CL
posting and I would like to chat with you further. So bottom line,
plain
and not-so-simple to find. I am seeking a woman of integrity,
kindness,
beauty, who actually follows through and wants to be with a great guy.
I am
a very giving/loving person with deep rooted values in the areas of
family,
friendship and service to others. I am looking for a woman of
substance who
is not into games. I am genuine with a romantic, sweet and loving
soul.
Not to mention, I am intelligent, adventurous, financially and
emotionally
stable, I love to travel, I am outgoing, humorous, adventurous and fun
to be
around. I hope we can get to know one another. Check out the links
below
for more information about me. One is my MySpace link and the other is
my
company website.

J*****
http://www.myspace.com.r{}*****
*(includes pic of guy that looks like Bob Sagat)

(32)
You are crazy enough to be loveable. I have never enjoyed an ad on CL before. You certainly caught my attention and at the same time I realized that you were right up my alley as a woman I would love to meet. I am a single, engaging chap with a French Basque background. No one in my family is part of ETA that I know of - I was told to say that.

Before I get too extemporaneous I will attach some photos for your review. Alas I have none of my feet and am stuck sending you dreary face and body shots. My feet are quite nice and I should consider getting a photo shoot of them. But you beat me to the punch. Do you think Jesus would have worn Nike? He did a hell of a lot of walking.

Hope to hear back. I am already a big fan of your business.

*(includes a pic of gay-looking dude with shirt off, and one is a face shot of him looking really concerned...Perhaps he's concerned about looking really gay.)

(33)
amazing post...who confesses to manslaughter in line one? loved it. i'm
38,
well educated (masters in music and english) was an orchestral
percussionist
for a living until about 5 years ago, had a great career, now i'm a
writer/producer for t.v. but not the typical hollywood type at all!
very
open, irreverently funny, been to france, great conversation, not
religious,
but read the bible cover to cover, love what you do, hilariously
creative...i love movies, dinners (out and in), walks, reading, simple
stuff...i'm 6ft. 190, brown hair, green eyes, cute/nerdy/writer
type...here's a pic i took on my laptop, terrible quality, but it'll
give
you an idea. i'm happy in real life.
*(includes pic of a guy who looks like the mother of one of my childhood friends.)

You want more responses? I've got more. Right here (at this, you can't see me rudely grab my crotch, but you get the idea). I have oodles more responses. I've been formulating the next posts, so read these and I'll see when I post my next personal ad.

Here we go:

(34)
have you seen breathless"?
*(includes pic from guy's camera phone. Looks like an ass who takes ass pictures.)

(35)
You sound crazy I love it

(36)
Hi there,

My names George, I think your an amazing invidual with an amazing
story.
Your story is really interesting, as I am sure is your life. I like
what you
had to say, you had my attention. I am sorry about your ordeal, Im glad
things are better for you. Congratulations on the business, your quite
the
creative mind, I like that. I would love to hear more!


Where to begin,

I would like to say I have lived many lives, I am an old soul I would
guess.
I live my life to fullest, I work, I go to school, but I still have a
good
time. I love to have new experiences, the world just has so much to
offer,
which Im sure you know.

I love: to dance, surf, travel(I haven't been to far or to many places
yet),
eat, hiking, snowboard, I love all the small things that the world has
to
offer. I love nature, the ocean is soothing to my soul.

I am college student I go to 2 colleges: UCLA & PCC, my focus is film.

I am a sale assoc. for a childrens furniture company. I have a film
production company I started recently.

I am very spontaneous, and Adventurous, so be warned there is usually
never
a dull moment, ok well maybe once in awhile lol.

I would love to talk to you more, just let me know if your intrigued...

George-

(37)
I just read your craigslist ad. I was going to say
that you had nice feet, but didn't want you to think I
was a weird fetish guy or anything. But hey, it's
nice that even doing jailtime you kept up with the
maintenance. It's a pretty big turn-off when you see
a cute girl and her feet are all busted up and dry
crackly from wearing flip-flops all the time and not
taking care of them.

I'm not particularly fond of the french. Actually,
I'd rather like to be your nemesis, if you're in the
market. I spent 5 years studying french in school (4
high school, 2 semesters in college) and curse that
withered old nun for shoving it down my throat (Damn
you, Sister Augusta!). I want to start up a competing
business selling cutouts of Satan saying things like
"You can go to hell if you think you'll find a better
deal on a used car!" and some such.

I don't know about a 'thoughtful and intelligent'
response, this was more of a 'quasi-lucid 4-beer
rambling' than anything.

I'm 5'11, 33, and live in the valley. Parents like
me, I suppose. Haven't met all that many.

Still though, you do have nice feet. That's something
to be proud of :)

--M****

(38)
Now that was a funny story.

5'11, likes stories, and single. 33yo.

-j***
*(Includes two pictures of a guy that looks like both Milli and Vanilli. I swear.)

(39)
(No message. Just two photos of an alcoholic drinking out of his paper cup, and then trying to like suave instead of like the single shitface living at Mom and Dad's while denying he has a drinking problem.)

(40)
I saw your ad and thought I would write to say hi…. "HI"

Well I hope my little attempt for attention would at least draw a little smile from you, but I really doubt you would fall for such a simple tactic as that.

If this little message was not lost in the sea of responses that you've received, feel free to write back and maybe tell me a little more about yourself.

Take care

(41)
hello,
I m french, 32yrs old, and i m looking for green card, i m chef and i work a lot.

(42)
wow, huge ugly feet, what a turn off!!! are you that stupid to take a pic to think they look cute??? no wonder youre single

(43)
Your feet are simply HUGE!

(44)
Honestly: I browse craigslist often... mostly the 'talent' section, and
sometimes I find myself looking through the w4m. I suppose it's alot of
the
same stuff, I rarely respond to anyones ad, and when I do it fizzles
out in
a matter of messages. Though, once the emails carried on for a few
weeks.
The fizzling; my fault or my lack of interest? Both. I guess they sort
of
feed each other.

So, I find myself writing a stranger, unsure of the outcome... should I
put
myself all out there and tell it as it is? Or, should I give a little
and
hope it sparks interest... hmm. I guess I'll put it all out on the
table
like antique roadshow.

I was born in Norway, my father was a dentist and my mother a chimney
sweeper. The ridicule my poor mother received from being the only
female
chimney sweep in the small village of Rueslatta eventually led to our
family
coming to America.

I was a small boy at the time and was fascinated with all things green,
especially bell peppers... which led to my first job as a worker in an
ice
cream parlor. To this day I still cannot figure out how my fascination
with
green peppers led to a job in the ice cream field but it was there that
I
found myself. I soon fell in love with a flavour called 'mint chocolate
cookie' and I decided I should move to Vermont. Three months later I
had
moved, to Tennessee where I found a job as a picker on an organic farm.

Some time passed while at the farm and one day a travelling circus came
through town. For the 4 days they performed I saw 3 of their shows,
once on
Friday and two on Saturday. They packed up and moved away the following
Sunday, I thought I would never see them again but that evening the
ringmaster came calling at the farm looking for a bushel of green bell
peppers. The straw boss brought the ringmaster around to the back barn
where
I was practising my juggling with 5 bell peppers. The ringmaster was
impressed with my skill and offered me a job touring with the circus.

For the past few years my life has been on the road travelling with the
circus, but I have settled down in Los Angeles. Am I looking for fame
and
fortune? I don't know, I'm just living.

*(Wierd motherfucker included a picture of a wierd motherfucker looking like he's trying to shit his pants.)

(45)
Hello and please to meet you. I am 6'7" and 250 lbs.. I live in Los Angeles, California. I am looking for a woman that appreciates when I open the door for her. I also want a woman to enjoy life and knows what she wants. I want to find a woman that is loving, trusting, smart, caring, want a family and beautiful. Let me know what you think and if you would like to chat. I shaved my goatee off. This is the most current picture of me. Thanks

C*****
*(Includes picture of him with his arm around a woman. He has cropped out most of the woman, but you see her shoulder and arm. He looks like the type of guy that would get dumped; I assume the arm and shoulder are his ex-girlfriend.)

(46)
You seem like the female equivalent of a "bad boy"....
seriously they sent you to jail for something that was
an accident??? thats horrible!

what did you not do in Wyoming?

(47)
first, itll be quite UN-cliche for me to comment on your cute feet, but suffice to say that you might have heard the blunt end of commentery about this,Ill refrain!

allright about me I guess? Im 30 years old, a recent transplant here from Ireland ( Donegal County) and... well Ill be here for a while I guess.as for you with your little endeavor in Wyoming.... lets say i can relate ;) I cant return home.

your ad.. wow.. was really damn COOL, I dont know what else to say about it. it was clean, funny HONEST and above all to the point.

Im not the jesus freak either, in fact that stuff scares me. I know my faith, damnit, i was raised IRISH CATHOLIC for crying out loud! I myself am a carpenter ( ha ha pun on the jesus joke here) and I like it, tho I went to school here for engineering ( MIT) but I dropped out cause I got burned out. I guess I find a certain confort building things out of wood. ( insert dumb response here) I cant say Im a frenchman, but I CAN say it was brilliant when I WAS there. I cant speak french ( not yet) but can understand it well enough not to get lost in the countryside of Nice or Champagne. and no, I doubt Ill look like a retard in front of your parents.

Im 6 foot one, so yea Im tall, Im not lanky and NOT fat, Im a quite the athlete as I played rugby in school growing up in Dublin. But Im not the jet setter, and far from the workout freak. Im not a meathead ;)

I did time too - for possession of a damn pistol in my boot. whould you believe that? I didnt know that it went from a misdemeanor to a felony OVERNIGHT so yea, cause I was recently shooting it at some targets ( in my roomies back yard) I had it ..well..lets say i had it silenced so as i didnt wake the neighbours at 4 in the morning.

the feds didnt like that too much..

oh well. ( well comon man, its not like I went out to be a hitman, I was actually be UN RUDE by keeping it quiet....right?)

anyways, if that didnt scare you off then youll see Im quite the nice lad, just a rut of bad luck ( expecially women) is all.

Ill inclue a picture, but your welcome to go to my myspace profile if you wish, theres more there.

welp, cheers miss cute feet, I hope to hear from you

- M****
(p.s. you being an ex felon, is welll.. kinda sexy...)

http://www.myspace.com.r{}*****
*(Includes picture of guy who thinks he can clean up to look like Ewen McGregor, but can look totally gangsta--like Justin Timberlake. He's the belle of ball in his wife beater and backwards baseball cap.)

(48)
I fell for you the very moment I saw you... your words and FACE made my
heart stop and melt.
I know if you gave me the slightest chance, I could prove to you that
I can make you happy and feeling fulfilled... yet somehow, when I say
to you that i'm 24yrs old, you will think that i'm just some other guy
who doesn't know what he's about. Besides all that, I am still going to
say that I like you and I wish you would over look my age.
my pics: http:/.r{}***.skyblog.com
I hope to hear from you...

(49)
Hey,

I'm J****, and I'm going to be replying to your ad today. A few
things about me. I'm currently a student and have a few more years to
go for my undergrad. I'm 26 years old, and no I'm not a loser because
I'm not in grad school yet. I took a vacation to do the military deal
so I have a late start. I'm a pretty happy dude. I enjoy waking up
in the morning, and going to bed at night. I love my mom. <3

Okay, so you're probably pretty excited by now. I mean, finding
someone emotionally stable like this deserves notice, especially on
craigslist. So what's the catch? Okay. I have many tattoos. I can
conceal them, yes, but I wont, because I like them. Next, I listen to
shitty music. You may think you could grow to appreciate my music.
You won't, it sucks, next subject.

Want a fun coffee date? I'm defnitely your man.

J*****
*(includes pics of dude. One is him smiling, and another is of his tattoo-covered leg. There are so many tattoos, and the quality of the pic so shitty, I thought he was showing a peg leg--like a pirate. Alas, that would be cool and he'd win my Cool Pic of the Lot award. Instead, he wins nothing.)

(50)
Wow. I'm sorry for your misfortune. I hope all is well for you now.
Although I'm not a French-buff, any encounters and experiences i've
had with French culture has been nothing short of enlightening.
French impressionism, French food, French wine (Pioully Fuisse - and
I don't even really drink), French-Canadiens. I've always wanted to
learn how to speak French and I desperately want to go to the Lourve
this coming autumn.
Well, I may not match up well with you in your figurative Heaven but
your feet look like they came straight from mine! heh.
I am: 28 and definitely under 6' (5'5") I play music, so clubs are no
problem and I love art so museums are great too. Im kinda nerdy...I
can be a real retard sometimes! and I just quit smoking this year
cold turkey. Once in a while ill get an urge but it goes away in
seconds.
I am not: a college grad :( but I have a decent job (graphic
designer) and I love what I do and I also have a lot of hobbies that
keep me in shape mentally and physically (performing and writing
music & playing ice hockey). I am not religious and I laugh at
everything ergo not uptight and snobby. Im very loose and laid back.
Here's a pic of me:
*(includes pic of uneducated loser)

(51)
hi, you sound nice.

I am 38, 5'11" athletic, funny, spontaneous, and enjoy good music,
food, wine, movies... I am local to west la.

how are you doing today?

ric
*(Includes a pic of a guy...that looks eerily like me. Did I respond to my own ad again?)

(52)
Whats up?
My name is Chilly I like what you said. I would love
to get away from my music and find a good friend. I'm
27 and i'm a producer from Memphis. I have a deal with
Capitol records but really down to earth. Contact me
if I sound like a match. www.myspace.com/o******

(53)
hi there,

in the internet equivalent of a glance i clicked on your CL ad and was immediately swept in.
i was laughing out loud before i knew it. so, just upfront? thanks.
yours is the best ad i've read in a very long time, and really enjoyable.
it's kind of exciting, to read something with a lot of implicit communication and some well paced writing.
the realness factor benefits, in spite of the actual amount of truth. you made up that gurney thing, right?

i want to know more about you.
tell me about Wyoming? (and i was impressed with the (nested) quotes).

to be clear - yes, i loved Green Card, am a big nerd, around an inch under 6 feet, under 39, etc.
here is a CL ad I posted, in case you haven't seen it. it has extra details, and pictures too:
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/m4w.r{}*****.htm

so what DO you do for work, hmm? i assume the busy is legit. is the sales part too? whatcha hawkin?
i spend all my time nefariously dodging actual 9-5 work limits under the rubric of "grad student".
doesn't mean i have a lot of time either, but i can make room.

what do you like to cook? way before i became a fledgling mad scientist i spent a while as a baker, and as a caterer. now my culinary life seems centered around omelettes. it's an obsession i have. something to do with abnormally low cholesterol. perhaps i can polish up some french cooking skills, if we become friends.

anyway, wishing you an indulgently great sunday.

cheers,
A****

(54)
i am interested in learning more about you. my, what long toes you have! let's share some things about each other, exchange some more pics and take it from there if we are still interested....

me, single, irish/italian, 42 (i don't follow directions very well), athletic, 6' foot, 190 lbs, hazel/green, salt and pepper hair (more pepper), an entertainment executive, funny and serious, college eduated, world traveled, passionate beyond measure about things that interest me and too many interests to list....

hope to hear from you!

d***
*(Includes picture of this guy. He's Mr. Old-Guy-Suave-and-I'm-Single-Because-I-Want-to-Be-Because-I've-Gotta-Keep-The-Options-Open-I'M-SO-DEPRESSED.)

(55)
Ha. Its really too much. Slender, exposed feet, arrest warrant in
Wyoming, and jailtime for involuntary manslaughter. Am I captured in
the
heart of a Pahlaniuk novel? Plus the Jesus cut out novelty toys. Its
too
much for a drunken, almost 30-something too handle.

(56)
I'm confused.
You wrote, "you should be less than 6 feet tall."
Did you mean no less than 6 feet tall?
I'm definitely less than 6 feet but most girls want over 6 feet so I'm curious if it's a trpo or not.
OK you've intrigued me...I know you probably get a lot of emails that use "intrigued" but it's fitting.
I have to know what you "didn't" do in Wyoming.
And...if you were on an icy road and you went off an embankment then thats an accident. Unless you fell asleep or were drinking. So I'm curious about the fact you had to serve jailtime.
But I may never get a response from you if you're not at least somewhat attracted or interested in me so here's my myspace link.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=******

Even if we don't seem like a match there's always a thing called friends. I'd be interested in talking more. You seem unique, which is rare in these parts.

(57)
Hello...

Question: What's the going rate for a cardboard Jesus? I'm having a clearance sale of golden crucifix pendants and I'm looking for a cardboard Jesus to help resurrect sales. Perhaps if I can get a Jesus from which I can hang these pendants with a sign reading "Hang With Jesus!"

All that said, if you love all things French, how do you feel about Francois Truffaut and Jean Luc-Goddard? If you like either filmmaker, perhaps you'd like to join me for a double feature of "Shoot The Piano Player" and "Band of Outsiders" at The New Beverly next month(?)

About me: I'm a SWM, 40, thin, 5' 7", brown hair and eyes, no children, and politically leftist. Care to chat?

Sincerely, L*****

*(Includes picture of this funny motherfucker.)

(58)
hey what''s up
listen i'm writing a book about what led people to be online and what
point they had to get to in order for them to post an add online
i do expect honest stories and if it's get published you will be
contacted and paid
a certain percentage
so please shoot me an email with your advertisement you posted and
what your expectation and experiences were
thanks
a*****
g****@gmail.com

*(no pic included, but what a fucking douche bag, right?)

(59)
...I'm Crying.

every now and again I find a post that speaks to me. your post was the
only one this week I completely connected with. my roots are also
planted deeply in California-French/American Indian for many generations.
Your post intrigues me, and I would love to meet you at you earliest
convenience.

quick wits, street smarts, Hollywoodland native/resident, laid back,
non-LA, cleanish, no disease, no drama, no kids, no problems, dirty when
it counts, thrift stores, H&M, Peet's coffee, Stanley Kubrik, Terry
Gilliam, Thomas Pynchon, William S. Burroughs, Beck, Meg White, getting
out of town, getting out of the country, astroprojection, indoor pistol
ranges, dive bars, flop houses, opium dens, massage parlors, bowling
alleys, pitching pennies, shooting craps, Russian roulette, and long walks
on the beach, or bombing runs down the slopes.

I'm extremely adventurous and romantic, but i can also be very down to
earth, and seriously practical. i am a gentleman, and conduct myself
accordingly, and when i find a (one) good woman i like to put her on a
pedestal, and not just so i can check the label on her lingerie.

once you get to know me, you'll find i'm one of the most comfortable
and open hearted people you'll ever meet. perhaps a bit too open hearted.
unfortunately, life has taught me to keep it locked up in a
heart-shaped box (*thanks Kurt*).

i am cerebral, existential, and flexibly Zen. i write, cook, and listen
to plenty of Musak. i am a warrior poet, so i carry a pen, paper, and a
large handgun tucked down the back of my pants. it's kinda
uncomfortable to sit down and write poetry with that gun in my pants, so i just
hold it in my hand, then i can't write and hold a gun at the same time.
the world is a dark place full of evil, however, i am an optimist, and
the bright side is that i know i can shoot my way out.

i also like to do stuff, in fact, i'm really good at doing stuff, you
know, the stuff with the things and then you go to that place with
those people? i always get some kind of deal, and sometimes i get a
different kind of deal. once i leave that place i often get in that thing that
makes stuff do things, then i like to do some other stuff that starts
the whole process over again. of course you know what i mean...

...and what i mean is that the above is more philosophical and
metaphoric, than didactic or expository. i'm not a gun crazy, and i'm not a
Guru, but i'll swear on a stack of bibles that i've never in my life
visited a massage parlor, or an opium den(or at least i've never been
caught)...

Sincerly,
Kevin
*(Includes picture of tool trying to look tough and outdoorsy. He lost his shirt, probably to show off his ugly tattoo he got at Toys 'r Us.)

(60)
agree with you , sometimes unfortunate inccedent can make us better person, I shop lifted when I was in school, although my family is rich but I loved the rush part of it, and after i was cought, I learned so much that made me a better person.

My friends call me POOPY (name modifed to protect turd's identity, but it sounds kind of like POOPY), I moved to LA (Pasadena) about a year ago, I am engineer/ and a baby politician, ex-football player –Ohio State ( Buck eyes Rocks)

They say I am very down to earth, funny and Bubblie, smart, to be honest with you I don't see all of that, I just enjoy my life.

I am looking for friends first and hopefully it will progress to LTR or friends on fire, like they say, someone to be compatible with; mentally and emotionally.

Just enjoying great time, traveling , hanging out ....I have a lot of passionate in my life, sports, traveling ( traveled almost half the world, learned few languages), theater, dancing, water sports. etc.

I am not into games or enjoy drama, so with that said, lets get to know each other

either way I think u got a great feet ....
Cheers
POOPY
*(Includes corny, obviously posed picture of in-the-closet schmuck.)

(61)
I'm not 6 feet tall but I am half french and speak french fluently. Let me know if you want to know more.

Noel

(62)
This is the funniest ad I've read in a while, nice feet. "Cutout life-size Jesus Christ promo materials" I hate typing lol, but it seems so appropriate. Hmmmm, let's see this 25 year old give this a shot:

Where to start... I used to be a heroin addict, no joke, I was a gutter junkie. I'm D&D free now (still roll dice every now and then, sometimes in the game, sometimes in life, ha!) and spend some time talking at runaway shelters for teens. I don't think I'll ever give up community service as it's a huge part of my life now and just helping that one kid rise above really makes my day. I'm more grounded than I was then and have had a sponsor in NA for the past 6 years of sobreity (wow, that's even weirder written).

YOU: Can't stand Mexican food. It always gives me gas (ewww, right?). Loves the ocean, it's a huge part of my life and really helps to center me when I need to gain perspective on things. If you surf or board on the water, who knows what might come of this! I love well read girls, so you must have an extensive collection which includes most of the "classics" (yeah, I know, post modern is pretty cool too, just make sure you have Dr. Zhivago and we're good).

Clubs, art galleries, once every five years origami exhibitions, Internet celebrity presentations, you should be comfortable at all of these.

ME: I sell clown clothes and accessories. I know, you're probably thinking something along the lines of 'how big of a market can there be for clown clothes and accessories'? Well I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's HUGE. There are clowns everywhere, all around us, in every town and every state, but most of them don't travel around with their makeup and costumes on. I don't like to brag, but clowns are actually lucrative niche-market customers who spend plenty of money on selzter water and white face paint. Red noses seem to be on the outs right now, pink and fuschia totally in, but that's neither here nor there.

I don't like dressing up that much, but when the occasion calls for it, I love pretending to be someone else. I hope you do, too. ;)

My BA in Philosophy is from Texas A&M, but I grew up in SoCal and have a lot of history here. Traveling has become part of my life, but Mexico is a no-go for me after three too many $0.50 shots and an all too well known animal show (I was young, drunk, and stupid, things happen, you know?).

I'm not a Godless communist, but at the same time, I don't believe in forcing anything on anyone, so no worries.

Hope we can connect.
(*Includes picture of smiling dude standing in front of Russian flag. Classic.)

(63)
HI,

how you doing tonight? I saw your post and wanted to say hello.

(64)
Wow, did you really get convicted of involuntary manslaughter? How much time did you serve for that? I must say that is some kind of luck you have including the warrant for your arrest in Wyoming. You don't read about that everyday on CL.

(65)
Hi,

I am D****; an ex football star, I live in Venice Beach. I was a general manager for Bally total fitness gyms. I own my own website it's an online search engine and own my own distribution company called X****. I am 6'1 tall handsome with light brown skin and an athletic build, and I grew up in Hawaii. I am easygoing like most from the islands.

D****
*(Includes picture of depressed-looking alcoholic waiting for more liquor to make him forget how depressed he is, to make hime forget how much he hates himself, to make everything...go away.)

(66)
Okay, I'm writing to you because I think you're either
A, totally whacked or B, totally with it. I mean,
straight off admiting that you were convicted of
manslaughter and have a warrant out in Wyoming...
wow. I do love French films. :)
*(Includes pretentious avant garde black and white picture of Christopher Walken/Steve Buscemi crossover.)

(67)
Hi there,

Feel a bit awkward doing this but, oh well. Let's see, where to start.
I
stumbled upon your post and I was pretty intrigued because, to be
honest,
you sound like someone I would like to spend some time with. It would
be
nice to get to know you a bit better so that I could say, I was
intrigued
because not only do you seem both sincere and interesting but you are
cute
on top of that, but I don't know you well enough so I can't say that.
So,
I'll start with what I do know... I'm B***, 24, graduated from UCSB,
just
got back from living in Paris (I am obsessed with all things French to
the
point that it is unhealthy), and spending my life trying to learn every
art
form that exists whether it is music, photography, languages or
cooking, to
name a few. I won't drag this out any longer. But just wanted to say
hello.
I've included 2 pictures, they are a bit old, but nonetheless, the only
two
I have at this moment in a digital format. Don't mind my niece in the
picture. She starves for attention. Anyways, write me when you get a
chance.

-B****
*(Includes two pictures, as he said. "Don't mind my illegitimate daughter." In the other picture, he wears a sweater open to show his nasty chest, but wears a winter hat on his head--because his head is cold, but his chest ain't.

(68)
i'm sorry, this might piss you off

i don't particularily like anything french (minus
therir cooking, and wines, and I guess the Statue of Liberty is kind of cool), clubs bore me, and am a tad
over 6 and all that. So while you seem quite
interesting, I've failed a couple of your criterias.

its irrelevant, i'm more so just really fascinated
with the jesus/ghandi ad thing. Do you have a website
or something like that? The idea of owning a
promotional jesus just really entertains me.

Chris

(69)
wow I am still trying to decide if this is real, but what the heck. Cute feet, and maybe I can get a deal on a lifesize cut out Ghandi. As far as the Franks, well you can call me King Charlemane, im 39 in great shape, succesfull, are you 420 friendly?
*(Includes picture of this fucking pothead dumbfuck smiling like the doped up fucker that he is staring off into the camera. Get a job, sir!)

(70)
you sound really interesting!

*(includes picture of loser standing in front of a surfboard. 'You look really retarded!')

(71)
I think your funny and I say that knowing your foot is not something
to be taken lightly (size 13) you are better than me and since jesus
was a bad carpenter and slacker rabbi he makes me feel like the jews
were not directly involved but were part of the lumber deal that
still is a hot buy " cross" shitty work and son of god =nailed to the
wood you didn't use for that deck you fucked up. I like not having
cancer or HIV anymore and girls that turn around when I yell slut ,
it just makes them more human. I am a failure who thrives on being in
some sort of conversation where I can show off my verbal skills and
meet people like your foot could be attached to. I have flaws I am good looking but never cum, potential but not enough to lie or hurt
people based on my net worth. I am lonely but only around others that
think this is a strange way for you to admit you want to know if I am
retarded or regarded and you haven't had sex with one of the two so
either way I am fun thing to pull out for weird guys I almost dated.
*(includes pic)

(72)
hello there..........

(73)
hey babe, im ****. what are you doing tonight?
*(Pic included of this obnoxious cock ring looking into the camera thinking only one thing..."If I can get it up when I'm with her, that might mean I'm still straight.")

(74)
Hahhahaahaah god daaamn wow 32/m/310 here but ummmm pretty much everything your looking for i'm not except the under 6 foot thing, " You should be less than 6 feet tall. No exceptions. I *heart* nerds.", although you might have made a typo and meant to say : You should not be less then 6 feet ... in which case i am and would make us complete opposites.....LMAO anyway what i really wanted to say was love the good spirited attitude having been put through a lot! It's your positive and uplifting spirit and attitude that really helps keep some of us other lost souls going..... thank you
and yes i am not Mr. photogenic :)
*(Looks a bit like Mark Wahlberg. He's Mark Wahlberg's broke, unkempt brother with no job.)

(75)
Dear Guilty of Love,
Do you know how hard it is to meet someone who actually enjoys and appreciates the French culture? I am currently taking french classes, trying to learn the only other language I have any interest in, in the hopes of one day actually living in France for a period of time. I'm not sure when this idea sprouted, but the seeds were planted long ago in high school when french was my only available option. In college, foreign language was not a requirement, so for a number of years my french was buried deep in the recesses of my mind. No longer though.
Green Card was such a bittersweet movie. My question is: Do you think Bronte goes to France?
If you liked Green Card, I imagine you've seen Before Sunset, with Julie Delpy?
I must warn you, I am a religious person, catholic to be exact, but I never preach nor force my religion on anybody, and have no intention to ever do so. A good number of my friends are not religious, and religion has never been an issue. It's a personal thing for me, and I keep it at that.
I've been in LA most of my life, born in Indonesia, but moved here when I was three. I actually had a green card until 2005, when I officially became an American citizen. I went to USC, and now I work in commercial real estate as a broker. It's not the most exciting job, but I do enjoy what I do for the most part. I think you have an awesome job, how did you come up with the idea to start that?
My likes are pretty typical I guess, beach, sun, eating good food, staying active by going to the gym, playing tennis, swimming, or hiking (beach volleyball when the weather permits), movies, museums, cooking, reading, hanging out with my awesome friends, and most of all, TRAVELLING!!!
I hope I haven't bored you to death, your post was so interesting and so unique, I figured to have any chance at all of a reply I had to be somewhat thorough. Hope to hear from you soon?

pic attached.
*(Includes pic of smiley Asian dude.)

(76)
Hi....

Interesting post. So is the Wyoming thing and icy road accident two different things? You sure do have a good attitude for such an unfortunate thing to have occured to you. Oh yeah, did you mean to spell it Ghandi?

(77)
My name is Don. I am a single 36 year old Italian male from Northridge. I'm looking to meet friends and hopefully meet "Miss Right". I work all week long and like to have fun on the weekends. I enjoy going dirt bike riding, snowboarding, taking my boat to the lake, wakeboarding and fishing. I am looking for someone to share these adventures with me. I do not like to argue nor do I like drama at all. I want to enjoy life. If this sounds like you, please feel free to e-mail me back.

(78)
This email is just a guy who copied and pasted his own personal ad into the email...Why?
A TRUE GENTLEMAN SEEKING A NICE WOMAN FOR LTR - 38

HELLO, MY NAME IS J**** I AM 38 6,2 195, I OWN MY OWN IMPORTING BUSINESS, I AM LOVING CARING AND DOWN TO EARTH, WITH A BIG HEART,,,I LOVE TRAVELING ,SPORTS, , ART SHOWS , AND LIFE CONCERTS, ,I AM LOOKING FOR A NICE WOMAN, FOR A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP , WITH THE SAME COMMON INTERESTS,LIFE IS SHORT ,SO LETS MAKE THE MOST OF IT TOGETHER, HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY, LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU
*(Includes picture of guy who you look at and think, "Borat in street clothes." He wears white shorts that are just a bit too short, and skinny-toothpic legs. He's got this desperate look on his face. The picture is taken in a bar. I'm guessing that the desperate look gives a good indication on how his luck with women is running at that moment in that particular bar. I feel that it is similar--nay, identical--to many moments in many different bars.)

(79)
Hi, I think we're perfect for each other!

I'm not going to sell you on why I'm the right guy for you; I'll just
tell you that I'm 37, intelligent and fun!

If you want to know more, then write back.

Good luck,

G***
*(Includes a pic of the guy riding his ten-speed bike. It looks like it's about 1985 in the pic.)

(80)
Hello,

How R U this morning?
Oh yes Green Card is one of my favorite MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

Oh for some reason This site won't let me e-mail my photo?
So tell me how to get in touch? I can only send it by a regular e-mail.

Regards,

B*****
*(No pic, but Kathryn--this guy has your dad's name! Weird city!)

(81)
Hi notice your posting thinking why she saying this maybe she looks for rich men set them up and kill them?

I'm kinda affraid becasue I am very Rich and dont like to play around to much just work on millons more.

So do we have the same minds? I wonder? We will see lets test your heart now.

If you like the words I do then I do too understand me?

(82)
hi i'm joe from los angeles i'm very sweeet guy with good heart i'm faithful honest caring sincere dedicated loyal understanding i have my own apartment car professiional job . i'm very romantic affecionate passionate . i'm very fun guy to be around i'm loooking for long term relationship .

(83)
How mich are thr Jesus cut outs.Ihave a retail establihment.Are they weather proof.My partner is French.Bad luck happens to everyone so life gos on.1 question,Were you drinking before you hit the guerney or afterwards?Let me know thw prices on Jesus,I think you re looking sor someone younger than me.Have a nice day.PETE

(84)
wow!

in addition to selling dashboard jesus'...

you should write a script and option it in hollywood.

i loved your openness in penning your bio....

the only question is...

would i embarrass you in front of your folks?

:)

steve
*(Includes pic of J. Peterman look-alike (the one from Seinfeld).)

(85)
My name is T*** and I am an EMT and my overall goal is to become a Paramedic,I am also athletic, not a workaholic, not wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, or mine, yet. In the gym four days a week.I think of myself as a spiritual grounded person. I have never been one to follow the crowd. I've always done what I felt was right for myself. I live my life without any regrets and for this reason, I feel fulfilled. I'm a good listener and if someone asks me for advice I will give it. I think life is what we make of it. Life is all about learning and growing to better ourselves.I am looking for someone who wants to hike, work out,sit by the beach and talk. Love going out or staying in. Love cooking and candlelight conversation. Love to laugh but not afraid to cry. The mountains,movies,and pizza are three of my faves.I play the guitar and harmonica. My pictures never go thru on craigslist, I can send you one just e-mail me back.Thanks T***
*(Includes pic of this guy with a good ol' SEG (shit-eating grin))

(86)
what a silly pic

(87)
Wow thats quite a story. R u for real!!??!? :)

Anyway, its certainly an interesting life you have there,

A little about me. In English, single, in my thirties, and i like
your feet :)

So i guess a trip to Wyomings out for you huh?

I too enjoy cooking, and concerts (actually a little hung over today
from a band last night), and i dont even know what band camp is, so
no jokes about that!

Unfortunitly, i dont have a picture of my feet so i will send one of
my face. But if you reply and want to see them i guess i can it can
be arranged, ha ha.

r
*(Includes two picks.)

(88)
I really enjoyed ur down 2 earth post. I do media work. Advertising and PR stuff. Work all over. I have small feet, but don't hold that against me.......Thought I'd say hey. I'm down 2 earth, handsome, sexy, but never boring..Hit me up...........

That's it. That's all of them. 88 Responses. I spent way too much time doing this. I think next time, I'll limit it to 30 or 50 responses. What do you think? I don't care. It's not up to you. It's up to me. ME. ME.