Fight oppression by enslaving everyone.

My posts come more and more infrequent. For that, I apologize...with a big, hearty, "Go fuck yourself." I do what I want. I post when I want. You can't tell me what to do. But not to worry--I remain devoted to my blogs.

Tonight, the worry is chest pain. I first felt it on Monday night, and then again on Tuesday during the day. Part of me wants to say, "Fuck it." But then I've got good health insurance and eight days of available sick leave. I turn in my two week's notice next Friday, so I figured I was going to lose a lot of that sick leave. I was already planning on calling in sick next Thursday, too, anyway. Maybe not. Also, I'll lose my lovely federal employee health insurance once I leave my job, so I might as well use it. The chest pain--nothing serious. It's not my heart, I'm pretty sure. It seems to happen for a few minutes at a time where it hurts when I breathe in. Whatever. We'll see. It was my mom's idea to go to the doctor. I hate to go to the emergency room, but where does one go BUT the emergency room in things like this?

I feel wierd actually taking a legitimate sick day. Is it legitimate? Strangely, I was talking with a coworker today who was "sick" yesterday. She DID say she went to a doctor--her dog's vet. She ran errands, watched TV, did some housework. But she asked me, "How many of your sick days are actual sick days?" My answer was one out of three. That's sad.

Meanwhile, I can't figure if I should get a Dell laptop or an Apple iBook. The Dell is certainly cheaper. I can get a Dell with Windows XP Media Center, 512 megs of RAM, 60 gig HD, a DVD burner, bluetooth, 3 year warranty and wireless for $900. The equivalent from Apple (iBook 14" Superdrive with 3 years of AppleCare) is about $1400. Fuck it. I'll probably get the Dell.

BACK AT WORK
Being back at work sucks balls. I dislike my job. I feel worthless when I'm there--like nothing I do will have any effect on the good of society in general (the words of a true Communist?). But I'm also bored out of my mind. Bored bored bored. And also, now I'm on edge all the time because I'm afraid my manager's going to call me into her office to find out why my quality of work is so low. She gave me a "To do" list on Tuesday. It's under one of my piles of papers. I'm afraid she'll get mad that I didn't touch it. Yes, even though I'm putting in my notice next Friday.

And it's strange. When I walked back in on Monday, I'd not been in the office in over two weeks. I'd worked five days in an entire month. Some people missed me. My manager said people missed me at first, but then they realized it was really quiet and everyone got a lot of work done. That's fine. Who needs 'em?

So, plans for today (Thurdsay): a visit to the emergency room, pack some boxes, maybe go to the gym.

Word to your mother.