UPDATE ON THE SENATE INQUIRY

In the last couple of days, my credibility has been challenged. Due to the recent Senate inquiry, the truth has come out: I'm on the payrolls of the Hawaii Tourism Board, as well as the Hawaiian Coffee Commission. This is how I've been able to afford living on this island with no "job."

Meanwhile, people think my writing will suffer because now I'm "at peace" and have nothing to complain about. Are you kidding? Now I worry almost constantly about what the fuck I'm going to do in 9 or 12 months when I get back to the mainland. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? How am I going to explain away taking a year to fuck around in Hawaii. That sounds like the pinnacle of irresponsibility. "Do we really want you working for us? You graduated college, worked for a year, and then spent a year fucking around in Hawaii? Does it say here that you spent SIX YEARS at the same college?"

I think I'd like to be rich, but how one goes about doing that is beyond me. Supposedly, Paul Allen has a house here on the big island (actually not far from here). I hear he has at least two jets--one of them a Boeing 757. I can't even afford an interisland plane ticket. What do I have to do to become rich? And yeah, yeah--everyone says you do what you enjoy and the money will follow. Hell, I said that, too, but I think enjoyment would definitely board with you every time you stepped onto that 757.

I have to care, anymore, too. My father sold it after I left Phoenix, so it's not like I'll be able to drive around that easily without a car. And since I plan on spending every cent I have while I'm here, I'm more likely to come back and be homeless and carless.

Fuck it. I'm going to the beach.