I stayed home sick today, again. I caught up on my mental anguish. You know, I just don't spend enough time to myself thinking, "Jesus fucking Christ, how could life get any worse?"
Of course, I also read and watched part of a movie.
I cleaned up part of my apartment for some guests tonight. As much as I clean this apartment, it still screams, "SLOBBY FUCKING BACHELOR." That's a lie, though. Obviously, there's no "FUCKING" going on here. This is a Fuck-Free zone right now. It's sort of like the former No Fly Zones in Iraq, but, instead of planes, it's women.
And instead of the international community patrolling the No Fly Zone (led by the Americans), it's a conspiracy of women everywhere who have bonded together and have all decided, "No sex for that asshole." Who is leading this international sisterhood of women? Who is the leader in enforcement?
Right now, the Republic of Ryan is surviving these sexual sanctions, but barely. We've got an oil for sex program. However, this has proved a complete failure, as there is no space for an oil derrick in my apartment. I remember approaching ChevronTexaco about this:
ME: "Can you build a derrick in my apartment, and then construct a pipeline leading to Long Beach (since it's probably the closest port)?"
CHEVRONTEXACO: "How big is your apartment?"
ME: "550 square feet."
CHEVRONTEXACO: "Yeah, of course--Wait. Are you...Ryan, of the Republic of Ryan?"
ME: "Uh...No?"
CHEVRONTEXACO: "There's sexual sanctions against you. We can't do business in your apartment. The International Conspiracy of Women has imposed strict sanctions against you."
I got the same treatment from BP-Amoco, too. Assholes.
I did build my underground network of tunnels to hide my WMDs (well, my menorah, leftover Chanuka candles, and mezuzah) in case the Republicans attack.
My Other Blog
Check out these wierd-ass fucking comments on my other blog. This one girl keeps putting these really strange comments. I need someone else's take on these. I'm wondering if they're supposed to be entertaining and funny, rude, or just plain stupid. I don't get it. Please help. If you read some of the comments on my profile and in response to most blog posts, you'll see these responses that just seem rather...bizarre.
Enjoy, bitches!
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3 comments:
People who leave comments like that are called "flamers" or "trolls". Ignore em.
She's just a wierdo, actually, rather than some random nameless face. I had a couple of classes with her. She's a friend of a friend (though I don't even know how friendly they are), since I may have only talked to her once or twice in real life.
Wierdness.
They are pretty whacked out!! You've met this girl? I reckon she's either in it for the attention or she is a bit nuts.
My recommendation: Don't sex her.
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