My Boss Puked in a Trash Can

I'll Start With This Oddity...
I was sitting there going over one of my cases with my boss. This is a composed, professional woman--a career federal employee in my agency for almost thirty years. I was seeking guidance on a particularly hairy issue. She kept coughing due to the drastic change in weather (or, as the locals call it, June Gloom). Then she had this really long coughing fit and said, "I think I'm going to puke."

I implored her to run to the bathroom, but she said she was joking.

Later in the day, I found out that my boss really did end up puking in her trash can shortly after I walked away. I was sitting in an interrogation booth with her while she chewed me out for screwing something up. I believe her puking may have been something she was trying to keep from me, but then a senior officer came in and said, "Hey, I heard you puked in your trashcan. Can I have the big chunks?"

"There's no big chunks," she said. "Just fluid, mostly. I didn't have much to eat before I vomited."

Then the senior officer said, "Don't look disgusted, Ryan. I'm all about recycling."

They both looked at me as if I was the fucked up one. I slapped myself across the face at this point, because I thought I was in the middle of one of those really strange dreams you get when you eat late at night.

A New Work Strategy
I've heard about this one woman in my organization (though not in my office) who has this horribly abrasive personality. They tried firing her twice--and twice, she sued. Twice, she won. Twice, she got large settlements. This lady is racist, and shoots her mouth off all the time; yet she charged the agency with discrimination against her because she is an older Jewish woman. Right now, she's in a position away from people where they basically just babysit her and make sure she stays away from other employees.

This woman is a model for us all. Of course, I must act disgusted when the managers or other officers tell me about this woman. "Oh, what a bitch," and "Oh, how can she do that?!"

But this woman has figured it out: she's paid to pretty much come to work and stay away from other people. Her coworkers and managers are especially happy when she doesn't show up to work (which is actually rare).

How do you get like that? How do you get it so everyone hates you and files grievances? And then they basically just pay you to keep quiet and not screw up anything. Wow. I think we should all take a lesson from this inspirational, amazing woman.