Think of Passover

Help me figure this one out.

Tomorrow is Monday. I have a phobia of work. My intense hatred of my job has turned into a full-blown phobia. When I hear the phones ring at the office, I get really anxious. Maybe if I start crawling under my desk and singing to myself, they'll take my phone away. That would be so awesome.

I called in on Friday. What's that mean? That means work's going to suck tomorrow. At least I get to leave early for my doctor's appointment. What's THAT mean? That means I'll have even more work to do when I go back into the office on Tuesday. And it'll suck even worse.

July 26th. This is the day I put in my two weeks notice. Let's sit around the seder dish and talk about dayenu, shall we?

And it is decided.

IF my job was wicked awesome, I was paid lots of money, and there were hot bitches everywhere in the office, it would have been sufficient.
IF my job was wicked awesome, I was paid okay, and maybe there weren't hot bitches but at least some attractive girls walking around the office, it would have been sufficient.
IF my job was boring, I was paid very well, and there were maybe a few pieces of eye candy walking around, it would have been sufficient.
IF my job was neat, I was paid poorly, and there were some women walking around my office with 'good personalities', it would have been sufficient.
IF my job was okay, I was paid enough, and it was a complete sausage fest, it would have been sufficient.

Dayenu, motherfucker. Now eat your fuckin' matzoh.

I find that a computer could just as easily do my job at a far lower cost to the United States government, and thus the taxpayer. I monkey holding a carrot and a large stick could probably replace me and do a better job: the stick to beat the people who refuse to pay, and the carrot because he might get hungry. But wouldn't that be cool?

"The Internal Revenue Service has laid off 5,000 employees and hired a team of untrained, angry monkeys with sticks and carrots (because they might get hungry later) to replace them." Oh, we can only hope. We started with the Whitehouse, though; I guess we have to work our way down to the low-level government functionary.

Yeah, that's right. I'm saying Bush is a monkey. Deal with it.