Foot Pain and Road Rage

Yesterday was quite a strange day.

I saw two instances of angry road rage--and both directed towards me. But I did nothing wrong. What's going on in these peoples' heads? Man, I used to be into the road rage thing, but found it pisses people off more if you yell out apologies than epithets.

If someone yells out, "You need to watch where you're fucking going, asshole!"

An apology and, "I'm a Goddamn idiot!" confuses them--ends the fight, but leaves them defeated. People seem to want to fight over driving skills. Once you agree with them, they're deflated. "Well, okay, then...You ARE a Goddamn idiot...DAMN IT! HE WON!"

My First Normal Injury
My whole life, my injuries have been do to really stupid things. Things where when people asked, for example, "How'd you hurt yourself?" I'd have to say something as odd as, "I was playing Scrabble and fell." Yes. This did actually happen. No. I will not talk about it.

Yesterday, I hurt myself while kickboxing at the gym. I kicked the bag wrong. I accidentally landed a kick with the tips of my toes, rather than my foot and leg. I said, "I think I hurt myself when I kicked the bag...This is great!"

My kickboxing partner asked, "How'd you hurt it?"

"By kicking the bag wrong," thus repeating what I'd already exlaimed in pain.

"What kind of pain is it?"

"Bad pain."

"No, I mean...how's it hurt?"

"Bad."

"No. I mean, where'd you hurt it?"

"My foot. The right one."

"I know. I'm trying to find out what kind of pain it is."

"Bad pain. On my foot. My right foot."

Then he stopped asking.

But this is the first time I could say my injury was not completely from my own incompetence. Yeah, I accidentally kicked the bag wrong--which is somewhat stupid, but it was an honest mistake. When I tell people, though, that I hurt myself kickboxing, that's a good, normal thing. I sound like some sort of active guy. "Kickboxing, huh?"

Do you know that people will look at you funny when you tell them an injury was caused when you sneezed really, really hard? "Yes, I threw my back out when I sneezed." Also, more recently, I was known to say, "I threw my back out after walking up a flight of stairs."

I'd rather not give any more details about my Scrabble injury.

My Big Dumbass Injury
In college, I got bursitis in my right elbow. It really, really hurt and was starting to turn red. I was planning a doctor's visit for the next day. What did I do? Though I could hardly move my arm, I thought it'd be fun to fit in a game of racquetball with a friend. I figured I'd win, since this friend I was going to play was one of the worst racquetball players I'd ever played.

The first match, I won no problem. The second one, I noticed my game was falling apart. And then, halfway through this second match (and the score was tied, which should have told me how bad things had gotten), she asked, "Are you okay? You look terrible."

We decided to take a water break. Outside, the weekly meeting of the racquetball club had gotten underway and we went to walk by them, and a few of them asked, "Holy Christ, what the fuck happened to your arm?"

I was about to explain, "It's fine. Just bursitis. I probably shouldn't be playing, but I'm going to a doctor tomorrow anyway." Instead, I looked down to see that my elbow had grown to the size of a compact car. The whole racquetball club was looking at me. Some seem disgusted, but all looked at the freak with the oversized, red, painful-looking elbow. "Maybe you should see a doctor," the main racquetball club guy said. They all stared with a mixture of disgust and awe. "I've never seen anything like that before," he added.

I was playing with a rubberband and shot myself in the eye when it broke. That's another minor injury that I didn't want to have to explain. My problem is that I always tell the truth.

"Why's your eye red?" I was asked at work shortly after it happened. "And...are those tears?"

"I shot myself in the eye with a rubberband."

And then there was the half-questioning, "Oh." Said as a statement, but as much of a question as if they asked, "You shot yourself in the Goddamn eye with a fucking rubberband?"

"It wasn't on purpose." This I said as if it explained everything.

Then there was the time I was on crutches for cellulitis in my kneecap. That was embarassing and odd, because I could still walk. So I'd crutch everywhere, and if I got to staircases, I'd run up them. People tend to let you to the front of lines, too, when you're on crutches. Like the line for the shuttle bus at school. Of course, then they all looked betrayed when I crutched to the front of the line, took both crutches under one arm, and hop up on the bus. "Awww, I thought you were a cripple."

A Domain Name
Let's say I was preparing to purchase a domain name for the blog. Any ideas?