The Power of Hypnosis. To KILL.

Today was uneventful. I hate Sundays. Especially Sunday afternoons.

Sunday afternoons are the calm before the storm--the oncoming week that I know will crush me beneath its ever-grinding wheels. On this day, I concentrate on not concentrating on how in 24 hours, I will be wishing it's Friday evening. Friday evenings--the exact opposite of Sunday evenings.

I always wonder what this is. We go to work--our lives revolve around WORK. If you don't go to work, you starve. So we work. And when we're not at work, we're happy that we're not there, and many of us concentrate on being happy when not working. So going back is akin to going to prison. It's a life sentence.

On a more positive note, I decided to become a hit man. To drum up business, I'm going to put up a few fliers on the bulletin boards at work, and perhaps hand out some coupons. Perhaps I'll start with a two-for-one special. I could also do some assisted suicides. Why not? I figure there's very little risk. I could kill someone who wanted to die. "Home of the $34.95 Assisted Suicide! No return customers!"

Why do people have problems with assisted suicide? Especially those Christian conservatives. I think they're just jealous. THEY want to kill people, but they're told, "Thou shalt not kill." So they don't want to go against the bible, and they're jealous of heroes like Dr. Jack Kevorkian. "Damn. He gets to kill people all the time," they say. "Lucky bastard."

This hit man thing--why not? I don't like guns, and am anti-NRA, so I'll make a statement by being the first hitman to use the power of hypnosis to kill. It's worth a try. "You are getting verrrrrry sleepy. Verrrrrry sleeeeeepy. Your eyes are getting veeerry heavy. Your eyes are closed. You're in a deeeeeep sleep. When I snap my fingers, you'll eat this bag of glass and follow it with a bottle of Windex." Yes, my victims will somehow let me set them down in a chair and hypnotize them.