To start, let me explain to our Australian friends what Shake 'n Bake is: you buy some chicken, you buy a box of Shake 'n Bake, you put the chicken in a bag with the Shake 'n Bake mix, you shake the bag around, and then you bake it in the oven (sans bag). It's nothing more than breaded chicken. I do not have a strong love for Shake 'n Bake. Sometimes, you just have a ken for something, right? Like Corn Flakes. Once, I almost couldn't go to sleep because I really wanted a bowl of Corn Flakes. The desire was so strong, it made me hungry and I almost couldn't sleep. I don't even like Corn Flakes when I'm fully awake. They get soggy when they sit in milk for more than 4 seconds, and then it just looks like a bowl of mushy puke.
No Fucking Future
I took my lousy government job because I wanted to get a federal law enforcement job (think FBI or Secret Service, but the IRS's version). I figured I'd be able to work for a year or two and pretty much just walk into my desired position. Get a G-car (government car), a gun, badge, government cell phone, higher pay, excellent training.
I went to my doctor today, though. My back feels much much better than it did just a month ago (I can walk normally again), but he said I have two herniated discs (not just the one, which I thought). One is really bad, and the other isn't as bad, but is still a problem. He said that from now on, I should avoid most activities that put a lot of stress on my spine. I can only run short distances now; my desire to train for and run in next year's LA marathon are dashed. Kickboxing is okay, as long as I take it really easy. And I asked about the law enforcement thing because of the physical requirements, and he recommended I don't do it.
"And if I do?" I asked.
"Then you'll make me a very rich man."
So there goes that. I sort of feel like the last year has been a waste. This has happened nary three weeks before the end of my first full year of employment. After the one year, I'd be eligible to apply. All that misery, pain, and suffering to find out that I can't do it? Fucking A.
Maybe I'll do it anyway, back be damned. God damnit.
Four work days left before I go to Hawaii.
How the fuck am I going to make it?
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3 comments:
thanks for explaining shake and bake! we have a similar product for making potato wedges but the name eludes me for the moment.
That's awful about your back. Back problems are the worst - you just can't stop being aware of it. 2 herniated discs! Ow.
I don't want to push the dreaded 'alternate therapies' at you if you are inclined to think of them as mumbo jumbo, but when I had back problems the only thing that helped was shiatsu and accupuncture. I bulged a disc by sitting for 36 hours on a flight to the UK. I couldn't sit or even lie down without pinching the nerves. Luckily I found a good therapist in London and my travel insurance covered it.
Just get a recommendation because there are good and bad.
hey thanks so much for commenting on my site. it's actually at the airport....but i thought it was kind of symbolic of the way the people are being treated by the australian government there...locked away on their little island, given no funding or attention whatsoever. sick. i'll favourite you on my site if you favourite me (i'll add a link).
I'm sorry, man--that sucks. I'm surprised he's letting you do kickboxing--it's a pretty brutal sport. As you know. :) Hey--bring me something nice from Hawaii when you go--like some macadamia nuts, a chotchke, or a hot woman. Preferably the last one. :)
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