Eat until you puke, and then eat some more

I just spent the last hour trying to get my remote control working. It didn't seem to be working right, so I started by bashing it on the ground several times. This appears to have reset the remote. I had to reprogram it for my TV and stereo stuff, but it seems to work now. And now that it's fixed, I turned on the TV and there's nothing on. So I'm wondering why I wasted any time doing this. Jesus.

Today was huge. I went to the Western Foodservice and Hospitality Expo. Check out the web site. It's a trade show exclusively for people in the restaurant and food industries; regular people off the street can't get in. Imagine the LA Convention Center FILLED with table upon table of food, drinks, coffee, liquor, beer, candy, cakes, etc., etc., etc.

How did Medinski get in? He walked up to the registration table, pointed to a random badge and said, "That's me." They looked at me funny and said, "You're Dr. Golackowitz?" With total confidence and not a trace of panic, I answered, "Yes I am."

For about 3 and a half hours, I ate pretty much non-stop. Starting from one end, we worked our way to the other end of the convention center. I ate the following:
- Ten different kinds of cookies, including (but not limited to) chocolate caramel, chocolate chip, chocolate chip pecan, and oatmeal
- Six different kinds of cheesecakes, including (but not limited to) New York Cheesecake, caramel, rasberry chocolate, and chocolate
- Six kinds of beer, including (but not limited to) Sam Adams, Arrogant Bastard, and this wierd chili beer*
- Twelve to fifteen different kinds of ice creams, shakes, and sorbets, including (but not limited to) Extreme Moosetracks, Cotton Candy flavored (surprisingly good), green tea, chocolate/vanilla swirl, pineapple sorbet, coffee, capuccino, and mango sorbet
- Ten different kinds of liquors, including (but not limited to) courvasier, whiskey, Stolisnaya, and Kahlua
- Six kinds of coffee (most of it ranging from lousy to average)

* I tried this bizarre chili beer, and found it odd enough to share. It was beer with spicy chili flavoring added. Very strange. Very spicy. I can imagine drinking this beer if I had the strong desire for indigestion and perhaps a trip to the hospital. I got my cousin to drink it by telling him it was VERY good. He took his sample cup, sipped the whole cup in his mouth, and got this bizarre, confused look on his face. He turned around and spat it out back into his sample cup, and then called me a, "Fucking asshole." Quite a comedian he is.

I'd say my favorite item there were these Petit Fours. Jesus H Christ, I must've eaten about five of these things. Most of the items, you take a half-bite of and throw the rest away (you can imagine the volume of food I ate just by the list above), but these I ate. So good, so soft. Moist, sweet, tasty.

I only stopped eating when I took a bite of another cookie (macadamia nut white chocolate). I had this bite of cookie in my mouth and that was it. I realized with that one bite that I was completely full. If I were to eat another bite after this piece of cookie, I knew I'd throw up everywhere. Everywhere. I knew it wouldn't be pretty. Since we'd been in constant motion for the last 4 hours, it was harder to feel full than when you're just sitting there not moving. But suddenly, I realized I was full and I'd have serious problems on my hands if I were to eat another bite.

And so then, I threw in the towel.


It was so tasty. Perhaps this was the best day of my year. This and being a homewrecker qualify as two of the best things that have happened to me so far in this year of the Lord, 2005. It was a day where fruit and veggies were shunned in favor of highly processed or fatty foods. A day where pausing to digest was a sign of weakness. It was a Day of Gluttony, and I loved it.