Pepsi Fuckin' Challenge

I called up one of my friends today and said, "Hey, ya' white motherfucker. How are you doing?"

He was not doing so well. He proposed to his girlfriend on Thursday night, and they broke up Friday morning. I felt horrible for him. I'd called him from Hawaii when I was there. His girlfriend got home from a long trip only a week ago, and I spoke with him on the day before. He was ecstatic she was coming home, since she'd been gone so long. It's a week later, and he sounds upside down. Everything has changed for him, it seems.

Another friend is rethinking her engagement. Everything has changed for her as well, especially since there's this other guy already trying to get her attention. That guy has no class. He calls her and always wants to see her, and generally makes life difficult for her.

Another friend is moving farther into a relationship that she's not too optimistic about.

Another friend has taken back an ex-boyfriend purely for carnal relations (so she says).

My brother's wife is pregnant (yes, by my brother, asshole). The kid will either be named Ari Herschel Medinski if it's a boy, or Eva Lilly Medinski if it's a girl. Hm. Eva Lilly--pretty name. It's very Southern belle. And Ari Herschel? The kid's future is already laid out for him: he'll be a rabbi, a mohel (go here and click on "The Rabbi" to find out what a mohel is), a jeweler, or a rapper. Where did my brother get the idea for the name Ari? From a TV show on HBO. I love my brother.

Another friend doesn't seem to appreciate or practice the one man/one woman concept, and may be confused. Perhaps it's time to intervene and help out a brotha.

Don't think I'm without any type of problems, either. I've got to learn some programming, some Chinese, the guitar, and suddenly be five to ten years older. I think I can do it.

Chinese
I can speak a little Korean. I can tell someone I'm going to kill them. I can curse at them. I can ask where the prostitutes are. I can ask how much the prostitutes are. I can say, "I don't know." Oh, and of course, I can say, "Hello." Anyang! I'm sure I could learn the same in Chinese. Will that be enough?

Programming
I could program in QBASIC when I was about 12. I'm sure I could pick it up again really fast. I took some C++ about five years ago. Could Java be that much harder? Anybody have a copy of DOS 5.5 I could borrow to brush up on my QBASIC?

Guitar
What about piano and harmonica? I can play these. I can play the air guitar really well. Does that count? It wasn't specified that I had to specifically be able to play classical, acoustic, bass, or air guitar. I was assuming any of these would work.

I like to play the drums. I think I'm getting better but I can handle criticism. I'll show you what I know and you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums. I'll leave the front unlocked 'cause I can't hear the doorbell.

Five Years Older
I'm 30. Done. Not old enough. 35. Done. See? That's magic, but it works. Just don't look at my driver's license.

See? And now I'm the best. Well, I'm the best if you're into a 30-35 year old Chinese guitar-playing computer programmer.

I'll take the Pepsi Challenge any day of the week against any other 30-35 year old Chinese guitar-playing programmer. Hell, against any other guy. That's right. I'm that confident about myself.

Big Decision 2005
Hawaii, here I come. I've decided. The preliminary plan is that I'll leave LA about the third week of September, go to Phoenix and take the LSAT (yes, sorry, but I'm taking it--why not?), perhaps a quick jaunt to Albuquerque, and then it's off to Hawaii. 3, 6, 9, 12 months? Something like that. Who knows?

Maybe I'll have a reason to come back.

I will come back, though. Don't worry your pretty little head.