Alone for They Might Be Giants

The doors open at 7:30 PM. I assume I should get there on time if I leave around 6:30 or 6:45 PM, right? Alone.

Nobody wants to go. I stopped simply inviting people. No, I switched to offers to partially subsidize their ticket purchase. That didn't work. Then I offered to fully pay. No, nobody wants to go. Fuckers.

So, I went to the dentist. I haven't been to the dentist in almost two years. And if not almost two years, then at least two years. I've never been to a dentist like this. I felt more like I was in a time-share presentation. I met an x-ray person, who took my x-rays; a dentist, who looked at my teeth; a hygienist who cleaned my teeth; and a saleswoman, who wanted to charge me $470 for services that are only partially covered by my insurance.

SALESWOMAN?! It's been two years. And in that time, they've upgraded the technology. Obviously, they've upgraded it so much, they have to have a sales staff. She spoke about the prices, and benefits of getting this certain kind of expensive cleaning (I imagine a high molarity sulphuric acid should clean my teeth just as well as what she described). She actually pulled out a binder of before and after pictures. What in the shit? I threatened to puke, thus ending the sales presentation.

Then I said I needed to think about it. They said okay, but that shows they're amateurs. It's like cars--anybody who takes the 'be-back' bus ("I'll be back in the morning," or "I'll be back with my wife and annoying, shit-eating kids") rarely comes back.

I'll let these bastards rot out! I SWEAR! I'll do it! Who needs teeth when you have a blender?!