Another Rejection Leads to the Formation of the Female Reserve

You should check out the blog at the new address. I'm going to start having the blog at both sites, I think.

That address again? Okay. It's http://blog.myspace.com/medinski. Write it down. Tattoo it on something you don't use (which, if you're reading my blog on a semi-regular basis, is probably your penis).

Tonight, another rejection. I was aiming for a second date. Strategically, I felt I lost little (in terms of self-respect, pride, worth, etc.) by trying. The first date was bad enough. It wasn't bad, so much as it was uncomfortable. I can't even say that everything that went poorly was my fault. And nothing went wrong--just poorly.

So I tried for a second date. She said that she didn't think we had anything in common. Which I have to agree with. After all, she said she didn't use a lot of profanity unless she was really really angry. My response? "That's fuckin' crazy. I cuss all the Goddamn time." She said I was cute. She said all her friends thought I was cute, too. I told her to put in a good word for me. She said she thought I was really, really cute. Which is good. I told her she was cute--which she most definitely is. And then she said no, I am most definitely cuter than she is. And I said, "Okay. I'll have to agree."

Another rejection.

Again.

Goddamn it.

Granted, I wasn't surprised. I tried for a second date because I wanted to give it the ol' college try. Why not? If the first date goes poorly but doesn't end in yelling, you're in a dating gray area. It's like getting dealt 16 in blackjack at the casino. Some people hit for another card; others stick with what they've got. I hit; she decided to stick. Which is cool, too, because maybe I stand a chance with her hot friends.

But I got to thinking. Wouldn't dating be easier if there was a system worked out like the Federal Reserve?

When banks run into trouble, they get assistance from the Federal Reserve. If a man (ie. me) gets in trouble, I think it'd be helpful (not just to me, but society) to turn to a sort of Female Reserve for assistance.

"Shit, I really want to go out on a date, but have nobody to go with. I know! I'll borrow a woman from the Female Reserve." And with that, you'd get a phone number (and, thus, access to a female). It's brilliant. Of course, you'd have to pay for the opportunity of holding that phone number--the cost to the Female Reserve, if you will. So, I guess you'd have to buy the Female Reserve a drink or something.

Yes, this is a good idea. There'll be 12 Female Reserve Banks spread out across the country--JUST LIKE THE FEDERAL RESERVE.

It'll be brilliant. I think we could get Alan Greenspan to quit his job at the Fed to run the Fem.

It will be awesome.