From Deep Within the Family Compound...

I've shoved off to Arizona to visit my parents and their dogs for the Memorial Day weekend.

It's so beautiful out here. No traffic, not a lot of smog. And you can actually see the stars at night. It feels so rural compared to LA.

Last night, when I pulled into the compound, my dad met me with a shotgun. He patrols the property at night. This is sort of a new thing. He and my mother became neurotic survivalists when they moved to Arizona.

"Dad, can you put the shotgun down?" I asked.

"Can't son. I've got to protect the compound against the Commies."

"Cold War's over, Dad."

"Republicans." Then he pulled out his 9 mil and loaded a new clip, and put it back on his belt. "Gotta protect ourselves against the Goddamn Republicans."

Patrolling the property is a bit odd. It is in a nice neighborhood right in the middle of the city. But since all the neighbors do it, I guess it's only right for my parents to do it too.

It's a different world in Arizona. There are a lot of conservatives out here. Lots more trucks. More bumper stickers that support the president. And they don't put license plates on the FRONT of their cars, here. Nuts!

When you look out across the desert, it seems to go forever. It's beautiful. And I think, "Wouldn't it be awesome if that was covered with hot fudge?" Fudge with SPRINKLES as far as the eye could see...I suppose that would make it a desert dessert.

I've got to go. I've got patrol duty on the compound tonight. I've never used a gun before, but that doesn't seem to stop the native Arizonans.