I was told my posts are too long. And if they're too long, nobody can read them. You know, because they're too motherfucking lazy.
Ergo, today I unveil my REVOLUTIONARY PLAN 2005 VERSION 1.
REVOLUTIONARY PLAN 2005 Version 1
My revolutionary plan is to make my shit shorter. I've got to go back to my core audience. I've got to dummy down my writing to a first grade level, so the average American can understand it.
FAQ's
"Why were your posts so long? I can't sit for more than two seconds without wetting myself!"
I was writing for myself. Because I'm self-centered. But people tell me that it'd be better if it was shorter. Fine.
"Why am I such a vagina?"
It's genetic. I dare you to close the garage door on your head.
"Why did you write about me? I never gave you permission."
Any similarities between actual persons, living or dead are purely coincidental. Even if I write in the first-person and describe actual events.
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2 comments:
No, seriously, I sit here for 5 hours a day doing absolutely nothing but read fantastically hilarious blogs like yours. Man, I have this shit book marked.
If these people can't show you the decency of taking the time to sit down and read the entire post (which seriously, can't take more than 10 minutes) they should ignore traffic signals and not look both ways next time they cross the street.
Why do the good always suffer?
who the fuck is saying your posts are too long? why are you listening to them? continue to post. hear me and obey!
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