"Where's my beans, motherfucker?"

Ah, the words of a winner.

Look, you bastards! Someone won a can of beans--and it wasn't you (unless you're Dash Bradley).

The beans thing was done on a whim. I came in after having a little too much to drink, and decided, "It's about time I start giving out some beans." I figured if my writing didn't draw visitors to my blog, beans would. Beans have the power to do a lot to improve society--if people would just give them a chance.

So Mr. Dash Bradley will be enjoying his very own high-quality can of beans from Trader Joe's. And the rest of you will starve. You'll envy this man. He already has something over most of us: he's Canadian.

Of course, the face of Canada has changed recently. I always thought of it as a haven. As the tentacles of the christian conservative right-wingers spread through our country forcing their way into every corner of our lives, I always said, "At least there's Canada." I saw it as a safety raft. Those people up there are progressive, polite, and...well, they're Canadians. And they were there for us. But now with Paul Martin and his party appearing to be in trouble, the Conservatives THERE are making moves to take power. Then what?! No safety raft. The safety raft will sink, and soon they'll be teaching intelligent creation in school, and women will go back to second class citizens.

DASH BRADLEY, you and your Canadian brothers must mobilize and somehow stop this from happening. If I send more beans, perhaps this would help the cause. There's that other Canadian from Winnipeg who reads my blog. Yeah, you two--show them other Canadians how to do it!

By the way, the stipulation of my Big Bean Giveaway was that foreign addresses must take care of the logistics of the shipping of the beans. Ergo, you may pick up the beans here in Pasadena, or you can send a truck to pick it up.