A Little Help From Craigslist.org and Women With Low Self-Esteem

It's time to make me unsingle. I put a personal ad on Craigslist.

Before you cast the first stone calling me a motherfuckin' pathetic loser, give me a chance to defend myself...and might I add, you're the motherfuckin' pathetic loser.

So we'll see how many beautiful babes shoot me an email. I'm kind of bored being single, and hopefully this will turn the tide.

As mentioned, I posted the ad on Craigslist, and you can see it here or below. They take their ads off after 10 days, though.

Lower your standards even further and I'll seem like a good catch
Reply to: anon-68804978@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-17, 1:28AM PDT

Love is in the air. I can feel it; well, I can't really. But let's talk anyway.

ABOUT YOU:
You have low standards. You say you like men with aspirations, but typically settle for men with no future. Let's continue this cycle.

You are over-educated, unappreciated, and enjoy jogging.

You cook well. I do too, but why should both of us have to cook?

You enjoy dealing with petty, self-centered men. You enjoy paying for every meal, because you're very, very giving.

ABOUT ME:
I like to take money out of Santa's Salvation Army collection bowl. Why not? It's not stealing if they're donations.

I talk during movies.

When you ask me what I'm thinking about, I'll either say, "Nothing," or I'll tell you the truth and say, "Breasts."

I eat meat. I am not a vegetarian. I have contempt for religious people. I have contempt for people who disagree with me, because they just don't get it. I have contempt for people who agree with me, because I feel they're just trying to get on my good side. I have contempt for those with high blood pressure (I can't really explain this one).

I'm claustrophobic (but only in crowded, closed-in places like nightclubs). I have a fear of heights. I have a fear of polo mallets. I am a germophobe (but my apartment's pretty clean).

I tell stories that have no middle or ending. Like this time that I went to the mall to buy shoes. They didn't have the shoes I wanted in my size, but they had plenty of shoes I didn't want in my size. Then I noticed that everyone was looking at me kind of funny.

Email me a picture or two and your likes and what-nots.