I'm Not a Sell-Out. I Just Take Money For Whoring Myself.

I've already started getting the whole, "You're a sell out, Medinski!"

A few astute people (no, that's not 'ass toot,' you Goddamn disgusting beasts) noticed a few product placements throughout my blog. At first, I denied it.

However, one cannot survive on a government job and a commercial-free blog in this city. This leaves two choices:
1) Find a private-sector job that pays more, though I am now disgustingly underqualified and undisciplined after slacking off on the taxpayers' dime, or
2) Strike a multi-million dollar deal with some of the top companies that produce services and products my readers might enjoy--services and products that I, Ryan Medinski, can wholeheartedly stand behind. Products like the brand new Chevrolet Cobalt. Those who know me may remember me saying, "I'll slash both of my wrists wide open before I buy a Chevrolet." Well, that was purely in jest. The new for 2005 Chevrolet Cobalt is just dripping in quality and craftmanship. Sure you can buy a VW Jetta, and maybe even the price will be lower and build quality much higher. But think about what the Germans did back in World War II. I mean, really think about it--goosestepping their way towards world domination. That Cobalt is sounding pretty damn attractive right now. And with special dealer financing and factory incentives, your local Chevrolet dealer can help get you into one of these beauties today.

I chose the second choice. Most people don't notice the product placement. However, I offered a bottle of Trader Joe's Premium Santa Fe Sauce a few days ago to a person that would write a guest post. Never mind that you have to go to New Mexico to get that authentic Santa Fe taste. Never mind that it's fat free and low in sodium--so not only does it taste good, it won't add the pounds. Never mind that this helps pay the bills. YOU don't pay my bills. Besides, my product placements are hardly noticeable.

Hardly noticeable like the Tampax Compak. It's small enough to fit almost anywhere--even in your tiniest purse, or perhaps up one of your nostrils. Its unique plastic applicator easily extends to full size for comfortable insertion. Yes, it's protection & discretion that fits in the palm of your hand!

I'm not a sell out. There's a thing called artistic license, and my endorsement of certain products have no affects on my writings or opinions. Except for my deal with Walmart. I have to be a Republican, or I'll be in breach of contract. And we can't have that, or I won't be able to afford my subscription to HBO--I mean U.S. News and World Reports and the Wall Street Journal.

But other than Walmart, I'm free to be who I am. I can do whatever I want. There are no (or few, actually) limitations. I'm like a burger from Burger King, where you can have it your way, bitches.

Oh, like you never sold out. Fuck that! And Fuck YOU!

And fuck those fuckin' termites that can easily be removed with the aid of Terminix Pest Control. If they can't get your termites out, then you're really fucked.